Thursday, January 3, 2013

Tightwad Tidepod

What is your time worth to you? My going rate has definitely been on the rise.Let me tell you I used to love to go those stores, like outlet stores, where you literally have to mount a full scale excavation to find a decent article of clothing and then hope against hope that it will be something approximating your size. I mean, it may have taken me 3.5 hours to find that damn shirt, and I'll probably only wear it once assuming I can ignore that one sleeve is a little tighter, but it only cost $3.36. Winning. I have to giggle when I say this because it really does sound so ridiculous now.....but my time used to mean NOTHING to me. I'm sure my high school Econ teacher Ms. Marietta would explain it to me by drawing me an adorable Supply/Demand curve. I often have wondered what I did with all my time before I had children. I really think I must have just sat around. I'm not saying everybody does, but I think that's what I did, I must have. I have no memory of how I spent the hours from end of work day until bedtime in my Pre-children years...or weekends. Maybe I was having gobs of fun and the hormones blocked these pleasant memories so I wouldn't resent my children. Who knows? I can tell you one thing, I was Not APPRECIATING that time. It's funny how appreciation works best retroactively. Anyway, the lack of value placed on my time was only equal to my unparalleled tightwadedness. Inner musings of a tightwad..."Those crackers taste like shiz but they are a full 87 cents less than the name brand, I'll just put mustard on them. That toilet paper is so rough my colon retreats into my chest cavity when I sit down on the toilet, but it's $5 cheaper than Charmin. I can install that flooring myself...no instructions, no big deal!" Fast forward 5 years. Tidepods. Can I ever explain how glorious the 38 seconds are Tidepods save me? I mean no twisting the cup off of the spout, no depressing the button to fill the cup, no using a piece of laundry to scrape every last bit of goopy detergent out so it doesn't leak all over the shelf!! ecstasy! Open the lid, grab a pod, drop it in. It also helps that the damn things are just fascinating to hold, so pretty and squishy. (PSA: I understand why they are VERY tempting to small children, ours are stored waaaay up high, like high enough that if they were to get up there they'd probably get hurt BEFORE they got to the pods) Even when these things first came out I thought they were ridiculous, hell I thought the price of regular tide was ridiculous. It shouldn't have surprised me that like with so many things at which i have scoffed (leggings), I would be forced to embrace them. The tightwad in me didn't die easily, and in many ways her spirit still haunts me. (Her visits are becoming much fewer and far between). But standing In Front of the washer day after day, load after load, I began to be tempted. At Walmart they are always at the very end of the aisle so you have to look at them even if you're not in the market for detergent that day. I fought off the impulse for as long as I could. Then one day...I couldn't even look at the price..I remember being afraid someone I knew would see me buying these hedonistic little capsules. But I got them home and it.was.worth.it. And Tide knows, they know that if you havent, you will come to the dark side one day. and they are willing to wait for you, to do it of your own volition. did you know every Tide coupon excludes Tidepods? Salt in the wound, Tide.The tub is nearly half empty now, and even though a little piece of me died when I purchased them, I would do it again, I will do it again. I think ill always crave a good deal, always use my cell phone 40% off coupon at Hobby Lobby, always browse the clearance aisle, always hyperventilate when I go to the mall once a year, but my outlook on time vs. money has definitely flip flopped. Now I'm a time tightwad. As for what I am doing with my extra 38 seconds per load of laundry? Me time, homeslice, ALLLLLLL me.

1 comment:

  1. this. is. hilarious. I didn't even know what Tidepods were, but now I am left feeling like I need to try them.

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