Curse of the ungrateful child.

I've been saying for a little while now that you never truly know the meaning of embarrassment until you have a child. There is a little bit of a grace period for babies and toddlers as far as "misbehavior" in public places, for sure. The looks are mostly sympathetic in nature and maybe even amusement. Since Creacher 1 turned four though, I've noticed a slight shift. Suddenly I see the looks of quiet judgement and I can't really say I blame anyone because I would be judging the shiz out of my four year olds tantrums if I was viewing them from the outside. The other day at Walmart I even got a "you need a few more kids". Which actually pissed me off because they werent even being bad yet and in the town I live in 3 kids is soooo small time. I digress. So it's my "Big" family Christmas, big in quotes because it was only like 12 ish people. My cousin walks in with 3 solid wood, personalized rocking chairs for my sons that she only sees once a year unless there is a funeral. Creacher 1 immediately let's out a guttural epithet against receiving said rocking chair. I'd love to share what he actually said, but I honestly can't remember, because right at that moment I had that stomach twisting, fight or flight, crawl into a hole feeling, I think unique to motherhood. It still makes me a little nauseous thinking about it. I happen to know, because I have the catalog from which they came, they were each $70 rocking chairs. My cousin has no children of her own, so I couldn't even pull from that commiseration She handled it well, better than I might have and later my child, not surprisingly expressed interest in the rocking chair. After all,all 3 children fought daily about access to the one child sized rocker we had previous to this gift. I know controlling a four year old's emotional outbursts is akin to stopping a train with your toe, futile and in the end you get ran over anyway. But what I wouldn't give to get a redo of that moment and have him run up to her and hug her with profuse thanks. Ultimately,if I'm being honest, it's because I see his reaction as a reflection on me. So, I'm just trying to work on this whole virtue thing with him and I guess grateful is as good a place to start as any. I'd love to hear how other people fill their kids' gratefulness cup, whether they want it or not!